Friday, April 17, 2009

Write there, right now!


The wait for your baby can seem unending. And the feelings that go with each up and down are unpredictable. Yet keeping a journal is well worth the effort. It can help you survive the wait; it can reassure your child that she’s wanted; and it can teach important lessons about faith and destiny. It can also help you identify miracles along the way.


Why Write?
Waiting to adopt a child is an experience! We begin to prepare almost immediately. Mentally, physically, and emotionally we are getting ready to be parents. Putting your concerns on paper tends to put things in perspective; it can also help you identify and change negative beliefs. A journal can help you see the wait in positive terms. There is a baby in your future, but sometimes it takes writing out your fears and concerns to affirm your faith in that fact.
When there are questions and concerns to consider, now is the time! (You’ll have less time for everything once your child arrives.) Moreover, a journal
provides hard evidence of how you anxiously anticipated your child’s arrival. As your child grows, he/she may need reassurance that they were wanted - and waited for. Your journal will be a beautiful reminder.
Who Is This Journal "For"?
Now for my personal admission. I am not a good journal writer. And part of the reason is because I worry who will eventually read this some day. Will my children read my journal and think their mom is crazy? Would they think I am weak if they read about my sadness at certain situations? Would they think I am silly for how excited I get about other things? What if my journal became public property, accessible to anyone? In that case, I’d better hide my anger about waiting, my fears about being a parent, and my annoyance with those well-meant yet insensitive remarks that were an unexpected part of our adoption experiences.
But guess what? Hiding my real feelings and writing a 'book' - not a journal - defeats the purpose of a journal, which is effective only when it’s honest. I reluctantly decided to write exactly what I thought and felt. And it was very liberating! I wrote about my frustrations and fears, my hopes and dreams, my angst and excitement. Will I share this with everyone who enters my home? Uh...no. But someday, when I'm long gone, if my children read it, maybe they will realize that their mom was just that - a mom - with hopes and dreams and fears and frustrations just like everyone else.
Lasting Benefits
Worrying about the wait was useless. But writing about my worry was priceless. It gave me a much-needed boost, mentally and emotionally, and it’s a tangible reminder of faith - and the reality of miracles. When I read over my journal now, I can still feel anxiety of those days and feel even greater joy each time I look at my daughter. She is a miracle. She is a gift.

And if I ever forget that...it's "write" there in black and white!

2 comments:

  1. This is so true! Thank you for the great idea!

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  2. thanks for the post! I am horrible at writing in a journal not good at writing my feelings or it seems i write only during distressing times, and I do not want those who read my journal in the future to think i am a depressed person, because i do have so much joy and happiness in my life! my new gaol is to write just once a week about happy things going on! thanks you are inspiring to me

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